Torture of Bakra Eid Parties .

10 zilhaaj of Islamic calendar marks the day of Eid-ul –adha amongst the Muslim brothers and the much awaited meat fantasy of meat parties 3 times all 3 days comes true to the meat lovers aka Gosht-khor- islami –bhai bhen.( meat lover Islamic brother sisters)

The festival begins with the search of the sacrificial animals in this part of the world. Karachi is the biggest animal market of south asia, has huge variety of animals from donkey cow ( Gadha gai… with just ribs and the skeleton seen over a sheath of hide ) to Bhoot gai ( black cow with menace face) to Farishta gai ( Cute, innocent cow with white eye lashes) . The well fed cows are available to filthy rich people whose house wives with no house work can then brag to their Islamic sisters about the oblation they offered to deity.  A good animal is also chosen according to Islamic myth as on judgment day Muslims need to cross a fly-over ( pul-surat) and if they would go on a healthy animal they can go quick – A logical question thus comes to my mind why cant we sacrifice tiger – It will go very quick ????

Pious muslims without a doubt are meat lovers, impatiently wait for these days so they can eat meat ravenously, throw grandeur parties and lick the ass of their boss by sending a leg or two of the goat coated in aluminum foil. For this reason they hit the animal on the rear violently to check the meat on its ass if it’s perfect for barbecue but poor animal keeps thinking of being sexually assaulted by some mullah human.

But the most miserable person on this sacrificial festival is me due to my abhorrence with red meat specially the eid meat that can’t be looked at due to the strange and pungent smell associated with freshly cut poor animal. Often as a kid I used to get sick after watching red show with all the meat in the porch but as soon as I came to know the power of strike for your devoted cause. I protested vehemently without realizing it’s after affects of getting just salad and curd in the bakra eid dawats to eat. Why the hell people throw parties after bakra eid that contain just red meat and why doesn’t their heart melt with the fear of God of leaving certain people ( yeah its always just me )starved after inviting them at their home.

I guess these parties should be labeled as the * sacrificial meat utilization parties* instead of just the usual get together that at least have the courtesy to offer other things to eat and does not make me look like a tortured seventeenth century vampire women going all pale at the sight of red meat and lie to those who incessant that im on a special diet.

 Devolving various excuses for the most health conscious types I cite my desire to remain on juices. For fighting for a noble cause types I vehemently articulate the plight this barbaric occasion of bakra eid does to poor animal inflicting on them excruciating pain that even before the eyes of little kids and common man thus triggering extremism in our society and making our heart turn to stone.  This off course does help me to use my much rusted grey cells as already the desire to eat has been vanished .The stench of fresh meat grows fetid in my mind with the scary screams of the dying animals.

All the year, damn it for a whole long year I focus and perfect my excuse to avoid these stupid –time waste *RMPs* ( red meat utilization parties) but  somehow gets emotionally black mailed and lands in  there. Facing the sneering looks of people, asking me while stuffing their mouths with meat as if they will never get to eat again or if they are going to get all their  protein today scheduled from their protein diet … Oyee U turned Hindu ???? And i smile a wry smile,say i'm eating but that I do cucumber...yummy isn’t it.  But in my hearts of heart I retort back to them.

 Oyee u turned into starved Somali !